Epsilon

2007-06-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

It was mid-afternoon, the sun was still in its hottest but John had been used to this dessert climate so it is not a problem. He had just eaten his lunch, toasted bird that he got from the morning hunt. He pricked some of those large cactuses that emit water to drink. It was a real survival life. He could not even imagine that hermits live their whole life in the dessert, but he too was living it out anyways.

After eating, he continued his journey. Walking up the dessert land as always, it seems nothing new would ever come. The environment and everything, all seems to be repeating itself right from the very beginning.

Mountain sands, patches of grass, cactuses, bones of camels that perished at the desert’s cruel treatment, scorpions, vultures that awaits his surrender, all these things he knew right from the start.

When the sky turned red like blood, he gazed at it and thought that a fierce bloodlust battle had occurred somewhere and it ended with both sides shedding blood all over the plains. “There is nothing good you can get from wars,” he thought, “bloodshed, death, and suffering--this is what all men get from it and only to gain what they perceive is worth fighting for. But it is worthy enough to fight for the good fight though, and to shed your blood for it is not a waste.” He was lost in his thinking when suddenly a flock of migrating birds flew from the horizon and blocked the bloodlust sun. He was surprised; he thought that why would migrating birds fly this far to migrate, was there a land ahead? But he knew that his path was pure dessert not until the end of his journey, or is this the end of his journey? He was confused, he ran towards the horizon to reassure himself. But until then he do not know what lies ahead of him.

Beta

2007-06-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

A bird once lived freely upon the heights, who soars both the heavens and the skies day and night. It lived a life God had naturally given it; to fill the sky with creatures made from his wisdom.

For several years this bird lived contented having only what it has to survive life. It never grew weary or hungry, sometimes it becomes ill but often it is well; Mother Nature took good care of this bird.

However, one day it got curious of the life below: beyond the treetops and upon the forest floor. It wanted to know the fullness of life in the earth. Therefore, it did. It swooped down from the sky and cleared through the boughs and branches of the tree. It soon came to see the place it longed to see.

It thought it was amazing. It wondered on the different creatures it saw: creatures that stand in four legs, those without wings or feet, and those as small as a seed and those as big as the trees. The bird saw them all and was enthralled in how they lived.

Because of its fascination on the things that it had seen, it had lost focus in flying. It got tangled by the long drooping vines of the trees and was trapped their for years.

Then when the bird got free, it immediately fell to the ground as if in never knew how to fly. However, because God made it to fly, even if it had been hindered from it for years, it will surely fly. The bird started by running, then jumping, until it got its momentum. Then it spread its wings and is carried by the wind, and then it flapped its wings fly high and high, up again to the place were it truly belong.

Alpha

2007-06-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

Some time in my life I have come to a point where I thought that the light had already shone through the stained glass window and gazed unto the meadows of ever flowering fields. Alas! What a wonderful site! So merry and gay! Then my spirit sang of sweet music all day long. Yes, and it does stay for long. Long enough that I could cherish it and savor all the fragrance till its scent run dry. But so soon did another storm come that wreck havoc over the meadows and blow off all the beauty there was.

Thunder roared up in the skies like bands of lions in rage of fury and rain burst forth like the ever flowing falls. Winds blew on all direction and chaos was there. Trees fell, fields torn and houses were blown. I shivered in the coldness, and my teeth gnaw. I was left naked under the eye of the storm that frowned at me. I was blown from thorn to torn, stone to stone, and rubble to rubble.

Then it seized. Little by little the winds turned to cotton breeze and the dark clouds erased like the unwanted shade in a lovely piece of art. The dark onslaught had in no time turned to a bright new day and the sun shone bright like never before. The meadows were restored and bloomed off bright colored flowers and their sweet scent covered the whole hill top. But I was still naked and left alone. All the things I ought to know now lay scattered like poppy grains mixed with dirt and dust. My mind was in turmoil. Though the storm had seized, another had come inside my head. I held my head with both hands, like trying to stop a tsunami with a single standing wall. Then it fell apart. I shook my head, and in frustration I screamed my throat out. I am at loss; I drop flat at my back and gazed upon the blue warm sky. I shielded my eyes from the blinding brightness of the sun. No sooner did I fall into deep slumber—deeper than the deepest ocean.

When I woke up I was no more in the flower fields of sweet summer day but in an empty space of enduring blackness. I called out if someone or anything was there. There was no reply. Again, I called out, but then again there was no reply. In dismay I fell upon my knees and all my strength suddenly left me and all that remained was my will that kept me alive.

When I thought madness had eaten my life, a tiny light twinkled from a distance. I dwelt in it. It grew bigger and came closer. And from every step it took, the darkness faded away as if never to come back. From the light, a land was revealed and everything was made clear. Then the light came a foot close to me. An image started to take shape. Little by little it took form; shadows of it became clear and clearer, a face it shown, then a slender body likes the curves of the mountain slopes, and ever shapely legs. A lady it was and in an ever lovely gown of pure white and silk. I trembled at the site of her beauty and threw back my self. But the lady knelt down upon me and said, “Do not be afraid.” The more I trembled. She stood straight again and with a proud look, “I am the beauty you long sought to perceive.” Upon those words I knew it was her; the lady of immortal beauty: like the moon when it is full and shone bright upon the star-full evening sky, as white as the lilies and sweeter than honey and dew. But mere words are unfit to describe her. She was unperceivable. She was…

Then the lady pointed out into a valley that suddenly appeared in the dessert land that was revealed. There was a single road and on either side nothing good was to see; dust in the wind and dust in the earth. Cacti were the only plants to survive and vultures were the only birds that soar the foul air and fed on the flesh of those who fail to tread up unto the last. Uncharted pools of water with rib bones and rotten flesh on its opening are scattered all over the dust land. The sun blazed its furry down this forsaken land.

The lady smiled and said, “This is your road.” And before I could say anything else the light behind her swallowed her and vanished forever. I got up without any thought of refusal. I said to my self, “well it is better to die walking than to die sitting.” I stepped upon the rugged road of sharp rocks and nails. In contact my feet bled and my flesh torn apart for even there I have not sandals to wear.

Indeed, I endured every step and from my long endurance I saw a corpse with a sandal. I thanked the heavens for such a consolation, and took the sandals off the skeleton feet of the corpse. Now in ease did I walk and no more did my feet bled and my flesh torn apart from those sharp rocks and nails. Then I walked again. This time the winds blew harder and the dust that it brought choked my lungs. The sun was ever in its fury and my flesh started to boil. I endured it even. Though not long did I endure the pain, for the heavens had once again bestowed upon me there mercy and gave me a coat. Now, no more do I worry about the heat and the dust that burns my body, and naked not I am anymore.

In will did I ever strive to venture my road of…?

… And even now I know not what it was…

… Of death? …Of truth? …Of life? ...

Who knows? And who cares? For only me at this moment is venturing this god forsaken land and only the remains of those who fail gives but a little spirit to keep my foot up. Though sometimes I wish I have died earlier and I wish I was not born at all. But above these thoughts my heart rest assured that this is indeed my path for the lady herself has pointed it out. And would the lady ever lie? For sure she does not and would not, at any rate. Who, so pure and mild would have even a taint that would ruin her appearance and thought? Who, in her, virtue would ever go against her own nature and will? For sure none would. But for me lowly as I am and in my surrender did the lady herself appeared once again and bestowed upon me a sakat and a walking staff to assist me in my journey. Though so little a gift I treasured it more than gold for gives me comfort in this barren land.

Now that I am completely equipped and sheltered what else would I ever worry about? … Water? … Food? … but for so long even the dryness of throat nor the crumbling of my stomach for hunger I have never felt. Would this be also a gift from the lady? Or is that I have already forgotten all about other necessities that even my body had taken it aside? How long these gifts do would last? Or would there be any end? But what if at some point hunger and thirst would strike upon me like arrow shot through the head? Would the lady hear my cry?

Still even without certainty I strive and walk endlessly in the barren land.

The end? I do not know… would there be any? Would paths end in some ending we wish we could have? … Happy… glorious… ending? Save only the one thing; that I know my path or so I thought, nevertheless there is a road to hike that few had accomplished and to finish it is reward enough.

orphic mirage

Epsilon

Beta

Alpha